This isn’t 3rd grade where there is no such thing as a bad goal, there is. ”Being Happy” is a horrible goal.

The idea of happiness isn’t, but as a goal it is. How do you define “being happy?” When you have achieved that state, do you have to stay there? Or, it is a “more often than not” kind of thing? And, if so, how will you know for sure that you have achieved it? Will you write down the number of minutes each day you were able to keep yourself in that state of happiness?

In my post yesterday, I talked a little bit about the high level story lines that I’ve started to pull out from the unfiltered ramblings that I jot down when planning for the year ahead. But, I realized after getting some feedback (from you the reader, thanks!), that I left out how I determine if something will in fact make it from the hair brained idea phase to the committed and inked phase of the year.

I’ve had the chance to be a part of a lot of “goal setting” meetings, both professionally and personally with mastermind style roundtables. It is always amazing what you can learn about a person by the goals they share and the approach that they take to prioritizing what they think are the have-tos for the next year. But, in those meetings and roundtables, I’ve also hear a ton of really bad goals, like the previously mentioned “being happy.”

For me, in order for a goal to be counted as a legit commitment, it must pass the SAM test.

Significant: It has to be something that you don’t know exactly how it is going to happen and it is going to take your very best to continue to pull the pieces into place so that it can occur.

Attainable: In the time frame of the goal being set, in this case 2012, it has to be something that can be achieved. If not, you will end up failing and knowing that you are going to fail is never a good place to start.

Measurable: If you can’t precisely define when you have arrived and what steps and progress you are making along the way, how will you know your are getting closer? You must be able to tick of units of success as you go.

By having these checks and balances in place, I’ve been able to take big lofty ideas like “Being Happy” and boil them down to specific goals that aim towards the bigger idea AND pass the SAM test.

I had the chance to spend some time with Jeff Swartz, the former CEO of Timberland. In talking about goals he put it another way: “It has to be big enough to matter, but small enough to achieve.”

Happy Resoluting.Tweet

I am in an incredibly awesome position as I think through what I want out of 2012. I haven’t finalized my next career move now that Gowalla has been acquired by Facebook and therefore am thinking about and writing my plans for next year with a ton of unknowns attached. And it’s awesome.

For years, I’ve broken my annual and monthly goals down into 6 categories as I think through what I expect of myself:

- Professional

- Financial

- Relational

- Spiritual

- Physical

- Educational

I start with very broad strokes in each of those categories, everything that pops into my head gets written down. I usually end up with 10-12 ideas for each category. Then, once I have all of those ideas in front of me, I take a big step backwards and look for trends, themes, or story lines that need to be pulled out and highlighted. What did I tell myself about myself in the free flow of goals and aspirations for the next 12 months? With some intentional thought and a large cup of black coffee, I was thrilled by what I found this year. The unknowns of what my business card will say I am and what I do in 2012 actually freed me up to think about things I hadn’t before. I am still refining what I will commit to for 2012, but the big idea(s) are there.

We are all telling a story with every action we choose to take or not take. We are both the protagonist and the antagonist of an epic tale more commonly referred to as our life. Going into the new year feels fresh and full of possibility, but, 12 months from now, one thing is guaranteed to be true: 2012 will only ever be what we choose to make of it.

Happy New Year.Tweet

Most people learn how to play a new game by having someone who has played before teach them. That is the fastest way to get the game going and then “learn as you go.” But, the fastest way to win, and then likely be called a cheater, is to read the rules.

Growing up, my family played a lot of games. Card game, board games, and guess which word I want you to say games. Each time that a new game was introduced, via birthday present or unsuspecting friend, there was a scramble to understand more of the rules faster than everyone else. Whether it was taking turns reading the side of the box, huddling around the small print pamphlet like it was the Dead Sea Scrolls, or reading all the rules before telling anyone else that there was a new game in the house, the rules were a big part of the indoctrination to the Ellwood family game night.

The reason for the clamor around the rules was quite simple: they tell you how to win. And, when it comes to games, that is the only reason to play. (The “let’s not keep score and just have fun” thing just doesn’t work for me.) The rules lay out what exactly you would do to win faster than others and says that these things are illegal. But, in telling you the things that are against the rules, it also paints the picture of what kinds of things should be paid attention to and the areas of the game that advantages might be acquired.

This weekend, the Sunday New York Times front page above the fold story featured a detailed look into the complex tax planning strategies of the hier to the Estée Lauder fortune.  The headline and the sentiment of the article do little to hide the author’s distain for the ways that Ronald Lauder and his family have structured their finances. Several times throughout the article there are references to his “shrewd use of the US Tax Code.” This is followed by general statements about the complexity of “labyrinth of trusts, limited liability corporations and holding companies” that may or may not have been developed to with their likely favorable tax implications in mind.

Looks like someone read the rules.

Looks like someone else doesn’t like the rules.

And while this article may serve as further proof in the case against the Haves being made by the Have Nots, I took it from a different perspective. What are the rules that I haven’t mastered? What are the advantages that exist in my world that I am not maximizing? What are the angles that I can take in the games I am currently playing that will frustrate others not clever enough to find them?

“If no one is accusing you of cheating, you probably aren’t trying hard enough.” – WinnerTweet

The minutes keep passing and turning to hours

The emails keep racing, unrelenting electronic powers

The calls keep ringing and voices are singing

The text messages cry out, new ideas need to sprout

Inside the noise and outside the lines

My face, my pace combusts and combines

Just today, just this next very breath

Holds the keys to successes fragile life or death

Priorities I make and then ponder and debate

Urgency rushes and then runs and then waits

In this next moment, the have-tos scream louder

At the end of the day, “did this make you prouder?”

Right now is all I have and all I’ve got is what I need

But then I stop, hit pause, breathe…and I’m freed

It’s not that important, I’m not a brain surgeon

This ain’t my first rodeo, I’m not a priorities virgin

One, Two, Three… seconds as I close my eyes

Four, Five, Six, … clarity unfurl and arise

Seven, then Eight… confidence returned, restored

Nine, then Ten… simple successes, my rewardTweet

Tweet

Tweet

It’s what the chicken does that makes us ponder his motivation. We see noble young men helping old ladies do this in the movies. Crossing the street and getting to the other side is a normal part of an urban existence and also has some amazing parallels to the risks and rewards of the entrepreneur.

Now, I should probably point out that these observations are made with the assumption that you don’t look at the Walk/Don’t Walk sign. I only bring this up because, like in an industry or competitive endeavor, if there is a clear cut sign broadcasting what your next move should be, you’re already too late and everyone else is going to do the exact same thing as you.

The things I pay attention to when crossing the street and in assessing risks in business:

The Distance: How big is this street we’re endeavoring to cross? Is it a one way? Are there multiple lanes? Is there a median in the middle that can be used as safe harbor halfway across? Knowing how far you’re going to have to make it once you take that first step is a huge factor in taking the risk.

The Collision: How fast are the cars approaching? What is the average speed of the traffic flying by? How quickly will they make it to where you are intending to walk? What kind of vehicle is it? You have to know what kind of progress you need to make across the street before you take that first step.

The People: Are you making this gamble alone or are you taking people with you? If you have others that are going with you, do they know the speed at which you need to make it across and can they keep up?  Is there someone else lining up to dart across when the moment is right? Are they going to make their move first? Taking stock of who else is impacted by your next move is essential. You have to have total buy in from those with you and total awareness of others that might get in your way.

The Motivation:  How badly do you need to get to the other side? Is it a now or never kind of proposition? Are you going to miss out on something amazing if you don’t? Or can you wait a little bit and have the same results without as much risk? The timing of your first move is one of the most important decisions you can make. And, sometimes not beginning and missing the opportunity all together is riskier than stepping out knowing you have to move quickly.

Some of the things to do both as a competitive street crosser and as an entrepreneur:

Step to the front of the crowd: Don’t ever stand on the curb, take a couple steps out into the street and get a better look at what the factors are. Then, if you see the timing is right, go for it.

Know yourself: Knowing how quickly you can get from standing still to full speed is something only you can judge. Knowing your strengths and your limitations is essential for taking risks with confidence.

Commit to the decision: The worse thing you could possibly do is take a few steps out and decide you need to go back. By the time you slow down, turn around, and endeavor to make it back to the curb, you’ll have put yourself and anyone around you in more danger than if you’d committed and push forward without looking back.Tweet

I’ve flown more this year than any year before.  The miles, the airports, and single serving friends have been racking up as my tolerance for the pre-flight safety demonstration has been diminishing. But, one line said every time reminds me of one of the best advice I’ve received in life: “Place your oxygen mask on first and then assist others.”

My senior year in college, I was a cocky kid with a job lined up and an expectation that the workforce of the world would be happy to have me, perhaps even better off.  I have loved working and making money ever since my lemonade stand in 1988 and now I was finally making it to the big time.  One of the best classes I took that year was an executive lecture course that met once a week. Every other week we had an alumnus come back and speak to our class about life after Texas A&M and the advice that they wish someone had given them.  Every week I did my best to glean some kernel of wisdom from their talk and always volunteered to be a part of the group that went to lunch with the executive after class.  The advice ranged from how to manage your money to how to hustle for a new job.

One week, the speaker wasn’t a high powered executive, but an elementary school teacher.  I didn’t really know what to expect, but told myself I was going to find at least one thing to take with me. As she began to talk, I found her stories insightful, but not necessarily applicable to the direction I saw my career going.  But then she said something that I wrote down and that frankly I have remembered more clearly than any of the other speakers that semester.  She taught us the Oxygen Mask Theory.

When the flight attendants say, “Place your oxygen mask on first and then assist others” they are sharing some wisdom that I often forget.  The reason you need to put your mask on first is so that you are still alive to help others.  If instead you are busy helping others first and die from lack of oxygen, you efforts to be helpful will be worthless and your death will be in vain.  But, if you take the time to make sure that you are going to be alright, then you can go on and assist others for a much longer time.

As the holidays and the end of the year come, I am going to take some time to make sure that my oxygen mask is on for the new year.  I am no good to anyone in my life if I am moments away from professional or personal asphyxiation.

So here’s to you, your oxygen mask, and a wonderful year ahead.Tweet

This past week, I was fortunate enough to be invited to a private scotch tasting.  Blueprint Summit, a new New York community for successful business and philanthropic leaders, hosted the event at Alton Lane’s New York showroom.  Surrounded by Good People and amazing custom mens clothing, sipping scotch from Balvenie just seemed perfect.

Balvenie brand ambassador, Andrew Weir (previously know for his role as ‘Young Hamish’ in Braveheart) walked the group through the stories and subtleties of four different scotches.  It was incredible to learn what a difference a couple of years can make.  The 12 year old, which typically is my go to, was about what I expected.  But, jump up to the 14 and the notes were even more pronounced.  The 21 year old was our last sip of the night, but well worth it.   The 21 year old scotch is finished in barrels that previously held port wine. The result there were some new depth added to an already great scotch. The warmth of one sip lasted longer than any scotch I’ve tasted before

As the evening wound down and there was a bit of Q&A, I asked, “Was it the intention of the Malt Master to make a 21 year old scotch when they first put the barley, yeast, and water in the oak barrels in 1989?” Andrew shared the extremely unlikelihood of a barrel making it to 21 years.  Every year barrels are taken away and no one knows which ones will make it to the next year.  All they know when they begin the process and combine their ingredients needed to make a good barrel of scotch, is that out of the thousands of barrels started each year, only a few of them will last long enough and mature correctly to make the perfection otherwise known as the 21 year old.

I could help but ponder that thought this week.  In the rapid and fast paced world I live in, am I thinking about 2031? Am I building things that will grow and mature in 21 years? I am I working with the best ingredients right now to produce amazingness more than two decades from now? Will the final product of my labor today be worthy of the effort then? Am I thinking about a vision that is that big? Am I working toward a defined End Game?

These seem like good questions to ask over a glass of scotch.Tweet

I am busier than you. I have more meetings, more phone calls, more emails, and more people that want my attention. I am so busy taking over the world, I just wanted to take a second to tell you about it….  Or at least that seems to be the story we are all portraying to our friends, family, and fans.

This morning in spin class, Shaina again throttled any illusions that I may have had of being in shape. The focus of this class was the concept of Active Recovery.  She explained it as more of a test of our mental resolve than our physical.  The art of knowing how to restore smooth breathing and lower your heart rate with the resistance on. For real cyclists this practice is used to conserve energy while climbing a hill so they have enough energy to make a big push when they see an opportunity.  It isn’t about getting to the top first, it is about knowing when to sprint and when to keep an aggressive pace while maintaining control of your energy.

That is very different than resting.  Active recovery keeps the body engaged and ready at a moments notice to seize the opportunity to gain that edge.

This past weekend, Labor Day weekend, Annie and I had 3 days of active recovery and they were amazing.  It was a full weekend where we hadn’t made any intense or travel commitments and could enjoy being in NYC together.  But in doing so, we were actively recovering.  We caught up on things that had been left undone, put finishing touches on a couple projects, and, perhaps most rewardingly, caught up on some professional reading.  All things that could be considered work tasks but things that contributed to the recovery we felt as the long weekend came to an end.

There is a story told of a legendary lumber jack that was often sought after to lead the biggest clearings.  A cocky young lumber jack meet this legend one day and challenge him to a competition.  They’d each start at the same time and chop for a day.  At the end of the day, who ever had chopped down the most trees would win.  As they began, the young lumberjack jumped out to a lead and showed an aggressive pace.  The legend was keeping up, but it was clear the young man was clearly moving faster. A couple times during the day, the young man looked over to see the legendary lumber jack sitting down in the shade.  The thought to himself, “the old man just can’t keep up,” as he continued to chop away. At the end of the the day, the trees felled were tallied and the young man was shocked to see that not only had he lost, but lost by a decent margin.  In complete disbelief and humbled, he asked the legend how on earth he had done it, especially with all the breaks he’d taken.

The legend smiled and shared, “I wasn’t taking a break, I was sharpening my axe.”Tweet