As a rule, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. But, this isn’t a blog post about any of the dates I’ve gone on over the past year, though many of them are equally as humorous, this is a blog about a recent date I didn’t go on.
DISCLAIMER: I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.
It was a typical Friday night in NYC and I was where I have found myself most Friday nights for the past seven years, at The Half Pint. The crowd was lively and the beer was flowing, there were Cool Kids on hand and the banter was some of the more engaging in recent memory. I see a text come through on my phone from a friend alerting me to the fact that they have an extra ticket to a country music concert for a band I’ve just started to listen to on repeat. I grab my tab and head uptown and make it to the concert in time for the last song of the opening act.
Side Note: Country Music is the fastest growing genre of music in NYC. Watch that space.
After the fantastic concert, I find out that my ticket included a meet and greet with the band. My friends and I head to the downstair bar and wait for our turn. While standing at the merch table, I see a cute girl kick off her high heels. One lands near her purse, the other a little more errant of a toss. Noticing she didn’t notice where her left shoe landed, I scooped it up and tucked it under my arm.
You can see where this is going right?
A couple moments later when she goes to put her shoes back on, she is distressed by not knowing where her left shoe is and I pull the Prince Charming move. This is met with sighs and a round of “aahhhh” from her and her friends. She is ushered off into her meet and greet with the band but yells back at me to look her up on Instagram and gives me her handle. Once she is into the next room, I find her on Instagram and take a screenshot to remind myself to reach out the next day.
Cut to a couple days later: she’s finally let me past the stone cold wall of her private Instagram account (really, who still has a private Instagram account? are you taking pics of nuclear launch codes?) And she messages me something to the effect of “most Prince Charmings don’t have a beard, but what the heck, here’s my number.” To which I immediately text her and ask her out for the following Wednesday night.
We agree on a time and place, I put it on the calendar, and I am looking forward to it.
Until a couple days later I see a text message that comes through from her that reads:
Now, in all fairness, everyone Googles everyone, that’s not the strange part. The strange part is the barrage of questions that came afterwards via text two days before we were supposed to meet in person. Questions she had from reading old blog posts of mine. Questions that, if asked in a casual conversation where you were getting to know each other as human beings over a drink after work, would be par for the course.
But these weren’t.
Now, for anyone who has been my friend or followed me online for any period of time, especially the past couple years, you know I don’t have anything to hide and I am pretty open about everything going on in my world. But there is a difference between gathering some info about someone and stalking the hell out of them. There is a difference between being curious about someone you recently met and going full private investigator on them and not giving them a chance to share their story in context.
So I called her, left a voice mail, canceled our date, and wished her well.
It is a wild and crazy world out there but even wilder and crazier when you’re looking for a reason to say no to getting to know a new person instead of looking for a way to hear someone’s story and hoping they’re looking for a way to hear yours as well.
To all my single friends, by choice or by circumstance, remember this Valentine’s Day, you are enough just as you are, keep telling a story that makes you proud.
To all my couple friends, recently together or lifers, remember this Valentines Day, you found someone who loved your story and wanted to tell their’s with you.
To everyone out there, remember, none of us are as black and white as what our Google search results say. Let's give each other the benefit of that doubt.