This week, I've packed up the physical representations of my last 12 years into a few boxes and prepared to move them out of the place that I've called home. Not home as in the place where my mail goes, home as in the place in my heart that I built with someone I loved. Today I am moving out and going to begin trying to move on. And it is the hardest thing I've ever done.
But I am telling myself and now, I guess, telling you, that I want to choose gratitude today. I want to see this moment for what it is: a core memory that is all of the colors of the Inside Out rainbow of emotions.
I want to choose gratitude because I know I have been loved truly and unconditionally by someone. I know what having your best friend as your life partner is like. I know that the high highs feel even higher when you have someone by your side to celebrate. I know what the low lows feel not quite as low and how incredible it is to mourn along side a person you love. I know what it is like to see things you give your life to succeed and I know what it is like to see things you give your life to fail. I know what it is like to cheer someone else on as they chase down a dream that is all their own.
I want to choose gratitude because I wouldn't change anything about the last 12 years. I wouldn't be who I am today if all of it hadn't happened exactly the way it did. I have no regrets, just lots of incredible experiences I will always look back on fondly.
I want to choose gratitude today because sometimes love evolves and changes and I have experienced that. I know the range that love can reach. I know love and I know what it is to fight for love. I know that I am loved and that I will continue to pursue love.
I want to choose gratitude today because I know that as life moves on and new normals begin, wounds will heal and friendships will continue. I know that no matter what happens in my life, at the end of my life, I will be able to look back at this past love as one of the great loves of my life. That I experienced it fully and that I gave it everything that I could.
I want to choose gratitude today because I got the chance to spend 12 years with one of the most incredible people I'll ever hope to know in this crazy world.
I am choosing gratitude today. Thank you Annie.